romantic zebra

Ifgasm

Me: "Okay, so I can't find my vibrator. Not that I'm looking for it right now. But I can't effing find it. I had to use my hand the other day. It is 2008. We are past that."
Isaac: "You should read the DailyKos coverage of Sarah Palin. It is super orgasmic."
(later)
Me: "I am watching Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader."
Isaac: "That the least orgasm-inducing show on TV."
Me: "I know. What's the opposite of an orgasm?"
Isaac: "Ifgasm?"

Which One?

"I think my parents were swingers in the 70s."
"My parents were swingers in the 90s."
"Really?"
"Yeah, they'd pay me to leave the house sometimes."
"Wow."
"I got sixty bucks to go the movies once."
"What did they say to you about it?"
"They said they wanted to go skinny dipping."
"Fuck."
"I took the money and bought a Radiohead album."
[pause]
"Which one?"